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Family and Relatives in Japanese

In Japanese, the form of a word depends not only on whose family you are talking about, but also on whether you are speaking about a relative to someone else or addressing that relative directly.

THREE SITUATIONS — THREE RULES

First, identify what you want to say

For example, when speaking to someone else about your own mother, you usually say 母（はは）. But when addressing your mother, you say お母さん（おかあさん）. The same お母さん（おかあさん） is used when speaking about the other person’s mother.

① TALKING ABOUT MY OWN FAMILY

Talking about my relatives

Neutral forms — usually without お or さん

父ちち · chichimy father

母はは · hahamy mother

兄あに · animy older brother

姉あね · anemy older sister

弟おとうと · otōtomy younger brother

妹いもうと · imōtomy younger sister

祖父そふ · sofumy grandfather

祖母そぼ · sobomy grandmother

② TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE’S FAMILY

Talking about the other person’s relatives

Polite forms with お・さん or ご

お父さんおとうさん · otōsanyour father / dad

お母さんおかあさん · okāsanyour mother / mum

お兄さんおにいさん · oniisanyour older brother

お姉さんおねえさん · oneesanyour older sister

弟さんおとうとさん · otōtosanyour younger brother

妹さんいもうとさん · imōtosanyour younger sister

おじいさんojiisanyour grandfather

おばあさんobāsanyour grandmother

③ ADDRESSING MY OWN FAMILY

Calling or addressing a relative

Polite and familiar forms are also used here

お父さんおとうさん · otōsanDad! / Daddy!

お母さんおかあさん · okāsanMum! / Mommy!

お兄さん・お兄ちゃんoniisan · oniichanaddressing an older brother

お姉さん・お姉ちゃんoneesan · oneechanaddressing an older sister

おじいちゃんojiichanGrandpa!

おばあちゃんobāchanGrandma!

SAME PERSON — DIFFERENT FORMS

Let’s compare the three situations using “mother” as an example

① TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT YOUR MOTHER母は先生です。はははせんせいです。

My mother is a teacher. I am talking to someone else about my mother.

② TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON’S MOTHERお母さんはお元気ですか。おかあさんはおげんきですか。

How is your mother? A polite question about the other person’s mother.

③ ADDRESSING YOUR OWN MOTHERお母さん、ありがとう！おかあさん、ありがとう！

Mum, thank you! I am speaking directly to my own mother.

ONE MORE EXAMPLE父は会社員です。ちちはかいしゃいんです。

My father is an office worker. I am talking to someone else about my family.

Remember the Key Point

Use 母（はは） when talking to someone else about your own mother. Use お母さん（おかあさん） when talking about someone else’s mother or addressing your own mother. The same principle applies to fathers: 父（ちち） and お父さん（おとうさん）.

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